My husband and I don’t generally celebrate Valentine’s Day other than the occasional card exchange but here’s something
nice for him pre-Valentine’s Day just because he’s a good guy.
Aaron and Rachel have been sick for the past 5 days or so.
Since they are non-verbal and have poor communication skills in this and every other communications arena
(partly because of age but mostly because of autism) they have been unable to
express when they are hot, when they are cold, when they are uncomfortable,
when they are in pain, where they are in pain, if their nose is stuffy, if their chest burns when they are coughing up a lung, if they
are nauseous…etc.
You name it – if it is a part of being a disgusting snot
factory, congested, coughing sick kid, they are unable to express any part of
it other than a whine and it’s hard to get a hold of it before it gets out of control.
Aaron whines literally like a new puppy which will eventually lead to a full
blown meltdown if we don’t figure out the cause of the upset quickly,
especially at night. Rachel just whines with a look on her face like she smells
something bad and that will lead to uncontrollable and inconsolable crying for
hours which may or may not be a meltdown – I don’t think we've been able to
figure that one out with her yet.
When we hear Aaron whine at night (which he normally doesn't
do) it is literally a race against time to get to him because if we don’t get
there fast enough he might melt down. Most of the time he’s having what looks
like a partial meltdown from some type of sickness discomfort and he’s still
asleep. If he wakes up during it, it will turn in to a meltdown so I just have
to stand there and watch it and rub his cheeks and forehead and whisper that I’m
there until he calms down. He likes that fortunately, at least while he’s
sleeping and it usually works….until 15-30 minutes later and then we repeat the
process.
The other night during some middle of the night meltdown, snot
filled, crying extravaganza with both kids back to back, my husband said something
to the effect of, “It sure is fun having two sick kids with autism on top of
it.”
No shit.
And then I thought to myself…
As much as I want to smack him sometimes, I’m very lucky to
have him. Not everyone is as lucky and I can’t even imagine if I had to do this
alone. Especially with two.
I am a complete control freak, I am OCD to a degree that
makes people want to smack me, I could go on and on….but I do appreciate and
need the help that I get, especially from my husband. He is a wonderful man and
a wonderful father. The proof is right there in my two older daughters, they are
beautiful, amazing, incredible women. He was a single father with two young teenage
girls when we started dating. He should get a medal for that. I was a teenage
girl once. I know how we are.
Anyway…I thought it was kind of funny that I had this
thought about my husband the other day, (and then the next day I made him
chocolate chip cookies…just sayin.) then Autism Daddy re-posted this post he wrote about dads who leave because of autism, then Kreed's
World also shared it. I thought I should share it too. I know I got about 80% of
my blog followers from Kreed's World and Autism Daddy so you all have probably
already read it but…I wanted to give a little pre-Valentine’s Day shout out to
my husband because he isn't one of these jerkoffs who left and more men and
fathers should take example from him.
I also want to say that it's not just for help with my kids
that I am lucky. My marriage is by no means perfect. No marriage is, but we
have been married almost 10 years, he is my best friend, I think we are happy
together, I know I am happily married, (um…honey, I guess I'll leave the other
end of that one up to you…heh) and even though in about 10 days we will go on
the first date we have gone on in about 5 years because that is how often we
get out together without kids, what we have seems to work for us as far as not
ripping each other's throats out. We laugh, we joke (some of us non-stop –
husband – when some of us – wife – are trying to be serious) we talk, we play video games, we deal with autism stuff, I cry about autism stuff while he just stares at me with a blank look on his face like men do, but we are happy. I can’t imagine my life with anyone
else.
So….happy pre-Valentine’s Day honey! I love you! Don’t say I never did anything
for you for Valentine’s Day!
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